April 6, 2003
Okay To My Original Post
Before my rant from before :smile.
Let me set it up for you ~ you've met your mate for life at a young age, the two of you, regardless of sex, have a child. One of the two of you are out in the park swinging your child, enjoying the sun on your face, the laughter of the small voice you are swinging when at a young age of three, you suffer a stroke.....a stroke that puts you or your spouse into a coma for years.........
What do you do???? How do you go year after year still loving yet still being alive...........?????????
Then out of a miracle, your spouse who suffered this stroke went into a coma, years later, comes out of it but with only memories of a child you share of the age three but now they are in their 20's.......your spouse lost 20 years of thier life.......what do you do???????
Give it some thougt.....but also think about this........does love really conqure all?? We are human after all........think about it and I'd love to hear some feed back.....
Posted by Jamie at April 6, 2003 10:07 PMGod what a question.... leads to sooooo many thoughts. Like I am man enough not to need affection except from my true love who is in a coma... not likely I am afraid even with the best of us men, and women for that matter. I think it would take me many years to go through with an affair, if that is what you call it when one person is in a coma. But I suspect I would sucumb to my physical needs at some point or another. Damn I hate these hypothetical questions..... LOL My lovely wife is sitting in my lap as I type this though, and she has not hit me yet...lmao
I suspect the real problem would be manifested if and when that comatos party woke up... what the heck happens then? I have no idea is my answer.... Hope I never have to ponder this situation in real life.
SPeed
Posted by: Speed at April 6, 2003 11:53 PMWell we talked about this on the phone Jamie. I have thought about it and I have to truly answer this way. Until it happened to me I truly don't know how I would react.
Firstly I should be really honest and say that Clive and I have had the conversation, what if we had an accident, what if we were in a coma would we opt to switch the machine off. Clive does know without a shadow of a doubt that I have no wish to be left supported by a machine for the rest of my life if I were to be a vegetable with no quality of life. However, you are asking under the circumstances that the machine has been left on. I do think that a person is only human and over a period of 20 years I wouldn't expect Clive to be waiting for me to come around. He might even stop coming to visit me at all...its all conjecture. My bottom line is that I have learned not to seek answers to questions that I truly don't want an honest answer to, that way I avoid hurt over a subject that has not arisen. If you need an answer to such a question from your partner and I think sometimes you do need to let your partner know your feelings on such important topics then go for it and explore the answer.
After all that my answer is Jamie I'd go by my instinct at the time.
Hugs, Sylvie
Posted by: Sylvia at April 7, 2003 5:19 AMwell I've given this allot of thought.
my so-called FORMER spouse, god, most days I PRAYED he would go into a coma...unfortunately...and I think everyone knows how I would have reacted at that time!
but with the love of my life, my soulmate...I'm certain I could never feel for anyone else in this lifetime the way I feel for her, having that, I don't think I could ever settle for anything less.
my .02, keep the change *s*
First off, let me say it is not an easy question to answer (and hope never to find myself in this situation), and that there are certain situations in life that one can never predict or understand how you will feel/behave until you experience it yourself. Having no spouse at present, I do not know that I can answer the question of love conquering all. As Speed said, were I to fall into such a situation I think my physical needs would get the better of me. (That does not mean that you still don't love the person who is comatose.)
As for me, if and when I get into a marriage or stable union, were I to fall into such an unfortunate situation, I would not wish for my spouse to sit and endure that pain indefinitely. I am one who believes in quality of life and being hooked up to a ventilator IMHO is not living any reasonable quality of life. Once a reasonable period of time has passed and there seems to be little chance of a favourable outcome, please do not prolong the agony. (Guess that brings me to the euthanasia issue, but not now. Another time.) As for the case with coming out of the coma and not remembering the child, it is difficuult but I think that both parties and the child would eventually learn to adapt. (Human beings can learn to adjust to very adverse situations if we are forced to.) All in all, a difficult situation to address Jamie, but, good thoughts.
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